Reflections of My Heart: Crossing Boundaries

I wrote this poem for a friend of over twenty years. Then his life became consumed with trouble and he disappeared.

He could not not allow me to comfort him or give him support.

Then one day, four years ago, when I broke my right wrist and had surgery, I heard from him.

I was willing to help him, just like all my other friends, but he could not accept my help.

Nothing for me to do but accept, like always. I said an affirmation. I forgave him and sent him love and light to comfort him.

I tried to stay in touch with him with weekly messages. We talked, but he faded out, then came back. Finally, just like with all these other so-called friends, I was not going to sell my soul for unhealthiness in my life. So I let go with love.

One last really important thing. There were many moments when I felt I was being used by him… It was when he wanted to talk. When it was convenient for him. Otherwise, no communication.

CROSSING BOUNDARIES

When someone cares

About a friend,

They cross boundaries that

No one else can see

They will do anything to help.

To reach out,

To lend a helping hand.

Can’t you see that, my dear, dear friend?

Can’t you see that there is someone who really, honestly cares?

Can’t you see my human heart skipping a beat?

It soars into the spectacular skies.

It swims with fervor and fury.

It races to reach the dauntless finish line

With the tick-tock of time

Rushing by,

Wishing and hoping to just be in time

Yes, I care. I truly care.

With my heart, With my soul

With the purity of transcending oceans,

And rivers, and lakes,

Flowing ever so sweetly

To touch your life

Will you let me?

Will you respond to me?

Will you reach out to me?

Like melting snow on a crisp spring day

Like the daybreak of the day’s sun

Shimmering with its gentle glow

Like the ebb and flow of our tide

I hope so. I really do

I care for you and love you,

Just because you are you,

Because you are my friend,

And, Because you mean so much to me!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Coverlet

While in college, I read Wenonah’s Blanket by Peggy Elaine Browning, about a coverlet that kept people safe from hurt and harm. The story warmed my heart, and after reading it, every time I went though a life-altering experience, I visualized my own special coverlet protecting me. And it did. My stress level lessened and my fearlessness took over. I became stronger and more secure. Then, one afternoon, while sitting at my desk, I said to myself, ”I should write about my comforter, and this is what I wrote…”

COVERLET

This blanket is a coverlet
That protects us from the cold. It comforts us,
And shields us,
Safeguarding our every stride.

But then the time will come
When only you can define
Your own being
And its rhyme

So take your hand,
And use your guiding voice,
And walk peacefully, once again!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Convicted

One day, back in 1983, I drove alone in my car from college back to home. This was months after I began writing my life’s story. At the time, I called it The Broken Hoof, and when I finished, it won a creative writing prize. Now, it’s The Healing Horse. I have published it as a series of posts on my blog and intend to bring it out as a book soon. Stay tuned for updates on that.

But back to 1983. As I drove, a realization came over me—how far I had come. No longer did I hear the rhythm of iambic pentameter, of metered line and cadence in the footsteps my brace and I took through my young girl’s life, a reminder of who I was and always will be.

CONVICTED

Like a locked-up prisoner

Caged in her own cell, she moves

In a syncopated rhythm

With her barred-up shoes

From a childhood illness

And with these chains, she is sentenced to

A paralyzed left arm and leg

Which drags along her side

Waiting to be freed!

I am still the same person with the same values and aspirations, but I walk on my own, no brace needed. If you want to read the story of how I got rid of the brace, jump into it here:

The Healing Horse, Ch. 37: Giving Away the Brace

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Constellations

One night, a violet star illuminated the sky above me.

It shone brilliantly and honestly, a bright light that guided me as I took action and made myself into me, the person no one saw.

It guided me into taking the actions I had to take to make me the person no one saw, and it guided me as I became the person everyone saw and applauded.

CONSTELLATIONS

The tears of emptiness
Dropped down my face
With a violet star
Striking me with its grace!

It glistened brightly
With its
Illuminating light
Calling me
To the constellation’s
Continuous flight.

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Circle of Friends

I wrote this poem to a dear friend. He was the first person, in a long time, to hear my call, to take me under his wing, and to help me shine.

He was true. He did not spout words and then give me the brush off. Sincere help was what I needed, and he gave it. I could trust his words.

images of words

He gave me a purpose to continue dreaming and making something more of myself, rather than rotting away.

He continues helping me make my impossible dreams possible. As part of my circle of true blues, who care and help, he earned a place on my list of lifelong friends. He made me smile when I cried my heart out and gave me hope that empowered me. Above all, he helped me keep alive my dream of helping others and giving to the world.

That and more.

Perhaps you have someone like that in your life. Feel free to share in the comments.

CIRCLE OF FRIENDS

Welcome to my circle of friends!
Where your friendship means the world to me
Where friendships are made from the heart
And felt with the heart. Where friendships are created
From the depth of our very being
Where friendships smile from within out
And where a kind and honest word means something

You, my friend,
Are all that, and more
You came to me as an answer to my prayer
You came to me from the angels watching over me
You came to me with a divine presence to give
To all

You, my friend, radiate sunlight
With each sincere word you speak.

You, my friend,
Are a joy to spend time with
You know how to laugh,
Smile, and create happy moments
For others.

You, my friend,
Are a fine example of truth and hope
That is why I welcome you
To my circle of friends!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Crashing

Photo of mother blue bird feeding her baby

When I wrote this poem, I was taking another walk, about 11:30 in the morning, down a tree-lined street in West Hollywood, California. The towering trees were beautiful. I’m sorry I don’t know what kind they were.

Lost in thought and worry, the sight of a baby sparrow falling from its nest to its death brought me back to reality. That broken body on the sidewalk could have been me. If I hadn’t had the mother I did, I would have been tossed out to die after I got the DPT shot and cerebral palsy.

Realizing this empowered me to see beyond my complaints and feel more grateful for my life and the mama who raised, cared for, and loved me for who I was. She gave me a foundation for living my life.

CRASHING

In the midday sun,
A small bird fell from its nest~
Crashing to its death!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: City Walls

image of sparrows sitting on a wall

Back in the 70s and 80s, I was just a CP person with pipe dreams, a rebel with a cause, but with no one beside me, except for my dance teacher Al Gilbert and my friend Robert. Like the birds in the poem, I was nowhere to be seen. Like most people with disabilities, I was invisible in our society.

The chirping I heard sang the same melody I heard in my heart. I knew what I had to do. Whether or not anyone wanted to help me, I would do everything in my power to climb out of the quicksand of labeling and discrimination.

Within the well of my being, I knew that if anyone at all gave me the tiniest bit of help, just a hand up, I could move forward at that crucial time in life.

I had to keep speaking up and never acquiesce to these negative life experiences of being ignored. They would alter my life for the worst. Not just for the worse, but for the worst.

To accept this, I had to make a huge decision to change not only my belief structure, but my mind-set, my attitude, and how I looked at life.

The chirping was a calling. Those lonely birds sang to me, and I heeded their call. I sang back to them. And I sing still to this day.

CITY WALLS

Nowhere to be seen
I hear lonely birds chirping
Within city walls…

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Cherished Symphony

Image of musical notation scale

I thought I had found someone who saw life like I did, and that inspired this poem. But once again, it was a lesson for my inner self. These precious moments were for me to see the type of person I was and who I was becoming. And they were for me alone. The men who came into my life taught me I was deeper than them. That I was kind and honest, and that I couldn’t and wouldn’t settle for less in them. That I deserved more. I deserved to be cherished and to cherish myself. At that moment, I knew. And I have kept that realization close to my heart ever since.

CHERISHED SYMPHONY

Oh, how I ponder
The thought of your sweet, tender
Symphony playing ever so sweetly
In my thoughts and mind.

They sing so sweetly with every chord
I listen carefully, I Hear, And I know
That our moments are forever moments
That will soon be cherished through time.

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Broken Beliefs

photo of bride in Lisbon

I look into the sky, a beautiful purple stream of light before me, dark, and full of destiny. I take a deep breath into my belly, filling my root chakras. This is a bridge to my future and how I perceive my life and how I can help the world around me.

In seconds, the despair disappears, the intense feeling gone. I feel my breath, my voice, my being. I am free. I see that having CP and enduring everything I have gone though made me that person who can bridge the divide. I can be the one who speaks up and out for the voiceless, who are afraid. And, maybe this will change the path for others.

I think often, how did I do this? But, I had no choice but to be myself. It was not only a challenge, but my destiny. So I did it with all my being.

I think back many a times. Maybe I was given all those challenges as an instrument to develop me, so I could help others. Maybe because I faced things that no one ever talked about was my way out. Maybe, the universe threw me all these curves because he knew I was strong even though I felt weak. And I went through them all by myself.

Because of this, I knew this was the time to accept, to heal, and to leave the hurt, pain and all these experiences to the universe so I could move forward to help others and become a symbol of joy and disability pride to help others like me.

BROKEN BELIEFS

In the dusk,

I see a

Purple passage,

A bridge like no other I’ve seen before!

This bandage is a bandage to heal

Broken beliefs, and mend the

Many moments of a tremulous life left behind!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Blazing

photo of firefighter shooting a stream of water to put our a fire

Life for me seemed to get more complicated. It felt like the walls were closing in. Again. No room to breathe or have a break to get though the next storm in my life. No peace of mind. Or simply a pause to smell the flowers. So I got my feelings out in a constructive way, so I could find peace in accepting all that was happening in my life without giving an inch to the people and institutions that discriminated against anyone with a disability.

In this poem, everything before me seemed to turn against me. Then the loneliness of despair. Despair set in.

It just kept getting darker for me. I was outraged.

I remember getting through my rage by screaming into a pillow and writing in my journal, ripping through the pages with anger, hurt, and despair. I had to release my feelings to remain calm until the red sky passed.

But even in the fire of anger, a rainbow manifested in my sky.

BLAZING

The black-fisted nights
Turned into
Purple days of loneliness!

And as I walk the cold streets,
I call out to nature’s gifts
To mankind!

They answer with expressionless emotion!

I kept walking only for the day to
Turn into a
Burnt crimson blaze!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Image of Fire Fighting by David Dixon, CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.043, via Wikimedia Commons

Reflections of My Heart: Crossing Boundaries

Reflections of My Heart: Coverlet

Reflections of My Heart: Convicted

Reflections of My Heart: Constellations

Reflections of My Heart: Circle of Friends

Reflections of My Heart: Crashing

Reflections of My Heart: City Walls

Reflections of My Heart: Cherished Symphony

Reflections of My Heart: Broken Beliefs

Reflections of My Heart: Blazing

Inspiration and Hope for People with Cerebral Palsy and Learning Disabilities

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