Hidden in the Shadows of the Absolute Truth

How many times in your life have you not been given credit for something you outstandingly accomplished? How many times were your efforts gone unnoticed? And, how many times did some body else take the credit for your hard work? This happens a lot to people with disabilities. Too often our work is seen as something to keep us busy and occupied, rather than something of meaning and purpose. Because people outside the disabled circle seem to believe that our lives don’t need the same kind of depth, acknowledgement, praise, or honor to express warm approval or admiration for the work we have done. We are given little recognition which is so deserved. Time and time again, our efforts, our ethics, and our labor get either brushed over or disregarded. Persons in high raking positions, who have no disabilities of there own, have a special way of usurping every opportunity that comes our way.

They seem to have a unique and inimitable way of allowing us to do the work for which they take full credit for. There are many deceitful examples. One time, in transition, while waiting for the verdict of my Civil Rights Case, I was working as an assistant recreation director. I went above and beyond, and took on responsibilities that normally would fall to my boss. But me being me, I took them on. Unfortunately, my efforts were not valued or taken seriously.

Once again, I was treated as though I was mentally retarded; and should go back to the workshops. It was thought and non-verbally expressed that I should do his work, while he received all the accolades. This idea was demonstrated in the general approach which was taken towards the management of our responsibilities within this care facility. I naturally grasped and took upon myself the many details in organizing care plans, putting on events, and teaching fitness classes; along with giving each client the respect, the dignity, the decorum, and care they unconditionally needed and deserved.

Most the time, my boss would show his face in the early part of the morning, disappear for eight hours, and reappear at the days end. Meanwhile, I had been progressing, and achieving and doing all his work. I put in long, grueling hours out of the goodness of my heart. I learned the ropes of the trade due to his negligence and unconcern. He was cold and hardened and looked out just for himself. He did not think of others around him and what his affects would be on them.

This man had the nerve to claim, “all I did was visit patience and make them happy…” His inaccurate, condescending and disdainful statements made me look as if I was incompetent of doing my job. He made me look as though I was incapable of holding my position or carrying out the duties at hand. He also damaged my reputation and caused me much strife.

Why is it that these people have to cause others such horrific and horrendous, pain? Why does our society promote one- manship of cruelty, instead of goodness? Why are there clicks where mean and cure things are said about others, and nasty act performed? And why are people so jealous of those who give there all? Are they threatened Of us? Tell me, please! Why does mankind turn on there own? Is it ego, or greed? Is it power because they have something missing within themselves? Is it revenge because of something that happened in childhood? Are they just outright mean and cruel and have to hurt those who try their hardest and give there all!

What happened to being happy for someone else, and working together for the common good of all? What happened to doing unto others as you would like done unto you? These irrefutable acts hurt the people who want to be included in society the most. While these people know how to sniff us out, and put us where they think we belong. They get off scott free for a while, but it always comes back.

It is the primary task of all of us who have a disability to demonstrate our own achievements in every aspect of our life. We need to show and teach the world by action and deed just how much we have to offer the world, and will accomplish. We need society to treat us seriously. We need society to get honest and stay honest. And, we need society to own up to the many narratives they have done to hold and keep us back. We need our country, and our members of government officially responsible to begin to recognize our untapped leaders in our own communities. It is far better for society if its leaders come from a people which have born “the heat of battle in the noon day sun.” Because you see, as a community, we have been tested and hardened by the struggle to survive. We have also understood the need to work interdependently for mutual benefits. These are the skills which our country requires of it leaders. So why not us, too! Why not then give us a voice and a say so in the leadership of the republic. Why keep us hidden in the shadows?

Posted in Living With a Physical Disability | 2 Comments »

Remembering Our Fallen Soldiers

Every year, for the last four decades, I can’t help but think of all our fallen soldiers who paid the ultimate price and sacrifice. I can’t help but remember their precious lives and what they gave to our world. Having Cerebral Palsy, and knowing what it is like to live a life without the full use of all my limbs, I cannot stop thinking of all our young man; especially our injured boys who once had full use of their bodies. Now, they have to deal with something they never new before. Now, their lives have been altered for good- and now, they are left to pick up the pieces and to hopefully be positive and set an empowering example for other.

I remember the day my mother called me up at work. I remember her voice and how it sounded- I remember her telling me how we just got word that my cousin died in the Viet Nam war. Oh, how distinctly I remember that event. It never goes away! We were heart broken. We were shocked, traumatized, and devastated. This was a young, handsome man who ate, slept, and drank the idea of becoming a helicopter pilot.

We as his family could not stop him. We had to let go. We had to trust and believe that he would be safe. We had to believe that he would be guarded and protected from harm. We had to give him our love and good wishes to freely live his dreams to his highest. But oh, how special he was! How talented and kind a human being he was- Now an unsung hero who was only acknowledge by his loved ones and family.

And oh how it left my family. Know one truly know what it feels like unless you experience it yourself. The grief is unbearable. And the overwhelming sorrow, that’s a story all on its own. I am sure no one is ever the same after losing a loved one. No one truly ever recovers. Especially the parents!

We, the children, are supposed to outlive our mother’s and father’s. Not the other way around. We are supposed to bring joy and happiness to our family’s lives. Not hurt, and pain. So when it happens, it happens with a huge impact and an enormous bodily sensation such as mental suffering or distress. It causes a massive amount of torture, trauma, and torment.

Thus, I ask all you reading this to love those around you. Be respectful of other people’s wants, needs, and desires. Think less about yourself, and more about giving unconditionally. See what it does. See how it changes you- think less about what you need, and find unspoken ways to do something nice without anything in return. Bring someone happiness today. Show them that you truly care. Show your family or loved one the true meaning of giving from ones heart. Show them before it’s too late. Tell them what you’ve been keeping to yourself before it’s too late.

This Memorial Day let’s vow to make a difference. I dedicate this to you, Jerry.

Posted in Media and Commuications Convayer, Reflections | No Comments »

Common Courtesy: A Step Up in Communication

What does one think about when writing or sharing written material with other people through Twitter, You Tube, Disaboom, or Myspace.   These modes of communication are to fill and enrich peoples lives, not bring unpleasant experiences. I know how uncomfortable it can be as when I was younger I could not write.  As an infant, I was paralyzed due to a DPT shot.  My body became paralyzed, and I had a severe learning disability which made me struggle pretty much my entire life, although, today, I have learned new ways to compensate, new ways to work through my fears, and I have found new ways to work under pressure.  That is why having a common courtesy is so very, very important as one does not know who they are meeting over the World Wide Web.  While my learning disability is not as severe as it once was, I still have my moments to this day.  That is when being kind, caring, and tolerable comes in.  One never knows whom they may encounter or meet.  One never really knows what they may say while communicating that will offend someone deeply. Now, when I meet individuals like this I don’t let it get to me.   I shrug it off.  I use my positive tools to let it go with ease.

I want you to know that this is not always easy.  In the past 3 decades I have not only learn to overcome and succeed in dealing with my problem, and what others may say, but I have supper seeded all my expectations of what I thought I would become.  It is very humbling to remember that which I came from; as in my late teens, I could not even write a letter by myself.  I remember my mother doing it for me.  So, remembering this helps me to keep my communication skills up.   It helps me to stay very humble and modest.  The other thing that keeps me unpretentious is being myself and not coming off knowing that I know it all, egotistical, or un-kind.  I have never for the sake of it just been un-caring, to others.   I have always reach out with a warm  concern about others and a concerned feelings to rise people up, not to tear them down!  That is a common courtesy we aught all have.  While speaking to other people and communicating with others it is nice just to be nice-  I think twice about how I would like to be treated when I write back to someone writing to me.  I don’t want to come across too abrupt, too conceded, or even too contrived.  I remember always that people have feelings too, and that their feeling count just as much as mine.  I remember you can’t take back words once you’ve spoke or written them- I also remember that while reading other peoples emails, writings, and blog entries to be kind always as I know what I reflect out to others, is a direct indication of my attitude and well being.  So, I am not so quick to judge anyone.

I also remember when I was in my mid twenties, I remember a dear, dear friend lifting me up by sweetly saying…” write what comes to your heart and mind and put it to paper.  And so I do the same now.  I pay it forward.  I want you to know I took to heart my friends empowering words and have been writing ever since. So I am the last to say a critical word!  I have not only written an autobiographical, “THE BROKEN HOOF" but I write for two different disability magazines.  I make sure my writing can help someone in some way.   I make sure I write a whisper of hope to encourage and empower.  A whisper to lift and rise.  And a whisper to show that one truly cares!

My writing has become a tool in which I express myself.  It is something I love to do, and find fulfillment in.  I take much pride, and joy, in the things I write and share with the world.  They have meaning.  I try to teach and impart a personal closeness in what I am trying to convey to my readers.   Writing for me is very therapeutic.  It is an instrument to meet others that have the same interests as me;  as well as  helps me get comments and informal come backs from others.  It is a way for me to center myself after an especially busy day.  And, it calms me down, as helps me listen to that quiet, still, inner-voice of mine.  Moreover it gives me a reason to sit down for a few minutes, all alone in the quietude of my own inner being.  This is something I can give my all to.  Something I can rejuvenate myself with, and something I can transcend, surpass, and go beyond any thought I might have or chose to develop.  It gives me that sound strength to scribe on.

Writing has not only become fun for me, but it has become a vital implement to share, teach, and express my feelings and emotions by which I choose to share as a messenger.  It has become a certain kind of vehicle to which I can convey.  Thus, we who have been selected and gifted with this amazing tool and means, let us be a positive instrument for all to convey this common courtesy.

Posted in Media and Commuications Convayer | No Comments »

What is in a Word

“What’s in a name?” Shakespeare wrote in Romeo and Juliet. “That which we call a rose by any other name smell as sweet.” I ask you, what do you think of the word Handicap? How does it affect you? How does it make you feel? And, how does it digest within your own conscious and subconscious being. Does it make you angry, hurt, enraged, or does it make you feel beside yourself? Does it leave a bitter taste in your mouth, or does it make you feel more at ease or comfortable?

There are so many definitions for this word; handicappable, disabled, cripple, and challenged; these are only a few descriptives’ that are used regularly throughout our world today. Each on there own, carry a big weight. Each, by themselves, takes on a whole new meaning, connotation, and undertone. Depending on how we see, think, and perceive things, within our own selves, lives, and the world around us. That will be the ultimate determining factor. It all depends on how we see things and look at life. Our impressions, perceptions, and concepts- This is called our belief structure. All of these factors make up conviction. Particularly, what we were taught by our own parents; friends, and family members.

Each feeling, and each judgment, based on reason or actual experience, along with specific prejudices and pre-conceived opinions and ideas can and will affect us, as well as alter how we live, and view the world and people around us. They can all vary a person’s belief system. What one person thinks is positive; another could find it down right rude and insulting. I pose this to my readers to not only open up this word for discussion, and dialogue, but to create a safe, and secure atmosphere where we all can talk freely and openly as well as acquire the benefit of each others experience, so that we can gain a whole new outlook, understanding of, and interpretation to not only encounter what that word means to us, but, what it means to each other, and all it represents.

Having Cerebral Palsy, myself, and hearing these words all my life makes me think about how others feel. It makes me want to ask questions, see how other people think, deal with, and react to these words; but it especially make me what to know how you have been swayed and molded. It is an unavoidable reality that these physical challenges and daily occurrences change how we all look and deal with life on a daily basis. They are all too real. It not only impacts other people’s lives and attitudes, but it affects those directly closes to us. It absolutely affects whom and what we are; as we can see concrete results taking hold in all areas of our daily lives. We are an exceptionally aware species, who have a six sense. We can tell when others hold back what they truly feel, when one interjects with a conniving control, and begins to assign rules and regulations of what we are and aren’t truly capable of doing and becoming.

Why, you may be asking yourself? Well, because people will be people. People well look at us and judge us thought their own prism of experience. They will look at us through their own light and transparency. They will intellectually think they know better or more then us. That is why it is so very important to analyze our own thinking, our own attitudes, and our inner most thoughts.

There are so many old fashion words, and terminologies that are still used in today’s culture and society that are derogatory, and show a critical or disrespectful, disregard for us as people. Even though out-mouted, these words are still used. They seek to limit us as individuals and our dignity as human beings. They take away all our pride to move forward. Some of these ideas and concepts sell a forced notion and an obligation of what we are and are not allowed to become. In every aspect of our lives, there is an entire set of rules and regulations written and unwritten which the general public believes and leans towards. It is imperative that each of us, in our own way, search our souls at our core root, and make a conscious choice to be visible, and communicate these feelings within our community.

The more active we communicate and share, the more confident we become. We gain a self-worth to reach out more to others, as we inspire and encourage. As we do this, we summon up hope for all. We help others to get out of themselves, as we aspire others to think new thoughts, and reach for new goals. Moreover, the more we engage freely in all activities, the more empower we become. Not just to help ourselves, but to help each other as, we breakdown the walls of isolation, separation, and exclusion. We easily and effortlessly introduce new ideas and ways to look and maneuver through life.

The more active and willing we become, the more engaged and committed we become to give back and make a difference in our community, in the things we say, and the friendships we have entrust, the more we summon up and invoke a new belief system. We initiate insightful meaning in things we share dialogue about. We have a chance to make a difference, open up new channels, and make new passages towards the way people talk, think about us, and use words from there heart. By being mindful, sympathetic, and conscientious, people will learn to treat us with dignity, and respect. By doing so, we will be passing it forward. We will be making a difference, and hopefully, change people’s attitudes. Perhaps one day they won’t utter words of contempt. Life will takes on a whole new meaning as we become a vital voice, and source contributing to everyone in our community.

In closing, I think the most important thing to remember is to retain ultimate decision making over our own lives. That is the only way we can thrive and survive in this world. That is the only way we can make a true difference. It is the main ingredient to live up to our fullest potential. This way, we will demonstrate to all those around us that our word and desires mean something and have merit. We will exhibit to the world that we want our thoughts, and our desires to be taken seriously. We will show everyone that these wishes are to be reached for and to be fulfilled. And that no one can take them away from us. No one!

By demonstrating our determination and staying steadfast to our thoughts and beliefs, we will teach the world and the people around us that our word means something and warrants respect, admiration, credibility, and is to be valued with high-regard. If we hold fast to these truths at our core the impossible will become possible!

Posted in Motivational and Moving, Published Articles | No Comments »