Focusing

The other day, I wrote an article that mentioned some tools that I use personally to maneuver through life.  One of the tools I use is to focus.  I think about something of interest.  Something I want to put my full attention to.  Something that I feel real passionate about.   And something that brings me much pleasure and joy in doing.  Something that is gratifying and constructive and make me feel happy and content within.

Then I do two or three different things.  The first of which is to decide what it is I want to take action on.  This could be a mental thought, or a physical action.  Then, I would make a list if I had to.  I would write down all the things I had to do to attain and accomplish this goal. Checking them off as I reach my aim, desired results,  or wishes.

Next, I would proceed clearly and carefully.  Taking one baby step at a time.  Putting one foot in front of the other, until I reach  my attainable goal.  Gradually and consistently, over a period of time, unchanging my course of thinking; I would keep my faith, and endue with all the endurance I inside myself to muster, to keep on keeping on.  I would remain focused.  I would  visualize myself reaching these intents in my mind.

Third, I would say affirmations.  I would believe  in myself more than any other human being on this earth.  I would believe with all my  heart and soul.  I would continue to believe no matter how long it took me to attain my hope.  Plus, I would not allow anyone to sway me or tell me that I COULD NOT succeed or achieve!  I would hold firm to my thoughts, and ground myself by being mindful and steadfast.

Forth, I would be aware.   I would be conscious of all things happening in and around me.  I would be sensible, alert, antiquated, and heedful.  I would also practice being wise and hip, and very attentive to areas that would be beneficial to my growth.

Finally, I would read, learn, do anything I could to educate myself more on my intent and desire, and focus, focus, focus.

Tags: concentration
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Maneuvering Through Life With a Disability

Have you ever thought about how you personally maneuver through life’s experiences?  Have you ever given it much thought at all?  Are you positive?  Do you make things positive and have a good attitude and turn life’s negative situations or experiences around?  Can you digest the experiences in your life no matter what the out come has been?  Or, do certain thoughts and feelings linger in your heart and soul?  Do they eat at your core, or bring you happiness?  How do you deal with them?

For the last thirty years, I have been learning to exercise my muscle in maneuvering through life.  I have step by step learned to use my mind, body, and soul, as a vehicle to move, in and out of life’s situations.  I have learned to change position when need be.  I have also learned to be dexterous while using control and skill, as I stretched and flexed my attitude as I gained positive new beliefs and strategy’s in my upward quest to my ultimate objectives. 

For those of you who what to put these skills into use, I used the following:

• Follow your own heart
• Carve out your own destiny
• Be true to yourself
• Listen closely
• Carefully guide yourself to achieve
• Follow a plan or strategy
• Focus
• Be Discipline
• Learn new Social Skills 
• Learn how to manage time wisely
• Give yourself a quiet hour a day
• Do your homework
• Take action
• Let it all merge to realization and fulfillment

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Driving With Hand Controls and Maneuvering Confidently

Back when I was in high school, I remember taking a drivers ed class.  I was thrilled and nervous because I was going to be able to drive a car just like my mother, and sister, despite my Cerebral Palsy.  What a sense of pleasure and excitement it gave me.  Taking this huge, step forward in my life, also took my emotions on a roller coaster ride.  My stomach fluttered like the wings of a butterfly, .  I subconsciously knew this was an enormous, gigantic, and monumental responsibility and a big step for me; especially knowing that I had lost my lower left quadrant of peripheral vision due to my brain damage as a baby.

Although, I also knew getting my license would give me more freedom to get around the city, and to become more independent to do more of the things I’d desired to do.  It would allow me to go shopping to buy pretty new clothes, or get my nails done:>))))) , or, even taken care of errands.   It would be a high-schoolers dream come true!  It would also allow me to soar like an eagle in the sky.

In the beginning, I was taught to drive in a simulated car.  This was inside a  bungalow where a big screen was set up.    It was equipped  with hand controls and ready for all students, such as myself, to take a seat and start driving.  It was pretty cool.  Its almost like the arcade driving games they have today. Anyway’s the instructors were  ready for their willing participants to get behind the wheel-so they could teach them all they new about handling a car with care.  Thus, the disabled students of  Joseph Pomery Widney High school were immediately available to learn.

The first time I took the wheel of the car, it was amazing!  I did it with little dough in my  heart.  I even remember the kind of car it was.  It was a white, all electric power Plymouth.  It had power windows, power breaks and just too cool for words.  And I, Karen, Lynn Hershkowitz, got behind the wheels.  I was not intimidated at all.  With confidence, I adjusted the seat to my legs and comfort, adjusted my rear view mirrors and off the campus grounds I drove.  The instructor told me where to go and I went.

I used my steering knob with ease.  It became an extension of how freely I could control my steering wheel with one hand.  It enabled me to drive down a straight streets and maneuver corners with ease-  Although, I was one of the  privileged few to be able to use one; as they became illegal to drivers back in the fifties.  Teens back then called then knicker knobs.  And they were not made as mine was.  They were flimsily, and if someone got their wrist caught inside the mental part of the attachment, it could injured them badly.  So only those who were legally told they could use them for assistance did.

One day I was taking a driving lesson, I was driving down Grand Avenue, going towards Angels Hill, when a buss pulled out in front of me forcing me to pull to the left and think quickly.  I performed with confidence.  And, I was quick, too!  I had my foot on that break before the instructor could say a peep!  I maneuvered that huge car like I had been driving for years.  I proved to the teacher I had quick thinking.  I also proved to the instructor that I could  carefully move the car to the left with safety.

Tags: achievements
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Making Peace with Your Past

Have you ever been awaken from a deep sleep only to have some experience or thought  from the past starring you in the face?  Didn’t you think you’d got rid of what ever was haunting you long time ago, or did you just berry them deep within the crevasse of your being?

Well, earlier this morning, I experienced just this-  I was forced to look at myself, squarely between my eyes.  I was forced to look at these areas of my life that resurfaced again.  I was forced to clean house, look at my motives- if any, and finally make peace within myself.

I had to!  I had to honestly look at these past experiences and finally find a way to heal- I had glimpse-  glimpse that I had a choice.  I could either continue to ignore them, and not find a positive resolution to what was hurting me so severely, and deeply within my core and being,  or I could resolve them. 

I could release these lasting impressions that creped upon my mind time and again for what ever reason they did.   I could turn my life and feelings around by facing them.  I could release the residue of these past feelings through acceptance.  Acceptance could be my road to peace and harmony.  Acceptance could be my  friend if I let it-

I could let go of the worst, hold on to only the best- and determine to find hope inside my heart and mind-  and I could allow it to continue throughout my life.

Reginia Hill says…"Acceptance is the heart’s best defense, love’s greatest asset, and the easiest way to keep believing in yourself and others."

So that is what I decided!

Yes, my thoughts greeted me today-  And, yes, they said …"hello, -  But its what I did with those thoughts-  Its how I took my feelings, and how I turned my situation around -  Its how I allowed my healing process within to begin-  And, its how I empowered myself to be more positive-  Its how I decided to think differently-  and how I decided to change for the better!

Yes, It’s not easy!   Although, I’ve learned, that admitting my problems to myself is a whole lot easier and less painful than denying it to myself.  It is so much easier to accept that a long time ago such and such was done and said, and, that  I was not to happy or impressed with how I handled the situation at hand. 

But, its how I decide to deal with it.  Its how I decide to use this given opportunity to my fullest potential!…  it’s how I can make and turn this particular situation around!  Its how I can make it feel right within the core of my being-  Its through the learning and accepting that makes me feel whole and complete again-  It’s not about tearing myself down or apart for not say the right thing at the right, given moment- Its about being gentle with myself and making peace with myself through acceptance.

Well, this morning I awoke that way, and have not been able to sleep since.  I woke up only to realize I had some very important business to take care of.  I realized that I better do some more homework on myself-  I realized that I had some very important  mental and emotional housekeeping to do-  I realized that I better start dissolving and liquefy the cobwebs lurking in my mind so that I could go forth in peace and harmony. 

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What Help’s You to Smile and Be Happy?

For the past two weeks, I have been facing many effaceable emotions.  They have been as deep, and as painful  as I can ever remember.  However, I kept reaching out for something that would soothe my soul.  Something that was positive, something that was touchable, that could and would bring me physical warmth, and a feeling of safety, and  something tangible that would help me have something to recognize, release, and also would help me recharge my battery -  It had to be something calming that could  make me feel better, within; something that would bring peace to my heart-

It had to be something that would make me feel better quickly!  Something that would ease my pain, and something that would bring me hope to remember the good things about me, my life, and what I knew was right on!  It had to be like turning on a light switch- something that would immediately help me to recognize my worth, my meaning as a human being, and all that I went through was not in vain.

You see,  I was very down and depressed because my thoughts and feelings were not being considered or taken into consideration by immediate family members. And this blew me away as I think of everyone- every one!

I talked with two of my dearest and closet friends, and while it helped, it did not solve or take away all the pain  I was facing.

Then a week later, about two days ago, I heard a song that my dear, mama would sing to me as a child.  We would sit together as the music and lyrics played. We would weep through the whole song with the truth that these lyrics spoke.

This is just one of many of my simple ingredients that continually makes me smile and feel blessed with my life!

The song was “Smile” and it was written by Charles Chaplin Jr..  In his lyric’s he says…

     “smile, through your heart is aching, smile, even though its breaking, when there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by, if you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun come shining through for you.  Light up your face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness, although a tear may be ever so near, that’s the time you must keep on trying, smile what’s the use of crying, you’ll find that life is still worth while if you just smile…”

As I heard these words, my pain and sorrow melted.  My reason, faith, and hope returned, and I was back on track being my beautiful, self once again.

Tags: looking at one-self
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Feeding Time

Every morning around 7 a.m. I am awaken by  my loving furry friends.  It is either Patches kissing me on the face, my sweet  Siamese wanting to snuggle under the blankie’s, on mama’s chest, or my recent striped 6 month old, tabby, Cleopatra, nibbling on my hair.

What’s a mama to do when she has a bunch of hungry babies whining ?  She immediately goes and feed them!  So I get out of bed, get dressed, wash my face, make my bed, and head towards the kitchen.  But before I reach there, I usually make a stop, to clean there messy litter box out.

While scooping out their business, I am surrounded by two kitty’s and a heeler/terrier singing to me,  to hurry up!   When I finally reach the kitchen, I am greeted, by a Siamese cat, Angel, who is hiding in the pantry, because she has learned to open the pantry door by herself, where her food is kept.

I pull out their big plastic containers, where I keep their healthy,organic, dry and wet food, along with their vitamins.  I begin the process by trying to dish the food out to them.  Some days are better than others, but on most days; I am bombarded by two kitties, who try and snatch a taste of there food before it’s ready.   So patiently, one by one, I keep putting them down on the floor, only to rush to get some dry and some wet food in their separate dishes before it is eaten up in one gulp!  Finally, after two or three go around’s of taking them off the counter top where they eat, I get it-  All their food is  plated up, and one by one I can feed them all:>)

Tags: Pet Care
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Why We don’t Want to be Good Little Robots Anymore!

Dear Friends, there is a very important topic I would like to bring up for discussion today.  It is a hidden well, a well of attitude shown towards so many of our self-styled helpers.  It is usually done with the best of motives, but leads to disaster.

This happens by the attitude of our so called professionals  who, with cleverness, have correctly shifted the attention away from internal childhood which has gone to another extreme.  Such help as we may need it seems as bad, indulgent, and unnecessary.  We must be like everyone else, in "their eyes," yet we cannot be ourselves in a healthy manor or way, we can only be healthy-minded if we mindlessly conform to their way, wants and controlling desires.

The organs of this philosophy, came from an error.  Practitioners saw the futility of the old… "poor helpless baby" approach, and, they wanted something better.  Although, the error really came when they took it upon themselves to transform our lives without consulting us.  Since, intellectually, we could and were able to compete, the practitioners had to change it quietly.  They assumed that all of our needs for emotional support, recognition, and some form of assistance were also, counterproductive. So, led by that female wizard, Bertha Tiberaus Bobath, they began to impose a regime of harshness and a cold business like manner; not seen since Watsonian behaviorism fifty years earlier.

Thus, we began to resist out of our own desperate desires and need for a true independence in terms of taking responsibility for our selves and our own lives.  We wanted to make our own decisions, which we knew we could.  We knew internally that our thinking was vital, just and right.  We knew we could succeed.  All we needed was a compassionate expert to be on our side. To walk, talk, and guide us; as they helped to open the doors to the bigger world. That to us was all important. That to us, is all we needed!

Our Independence as an end in itself is counterproductive.  But to have a true balance was not recognized at all.  The value of a balanced, moderate approach was not in existence.  Each one of us, knows what we need.  We know better than any parent, expert, or teacher around.  We need to be heard, listened to, and taken seriously.  I personally am so sick and tired of seeing this noble concept of independence used as an excuse not to give us the needed help, we really need. My question is… when will they genuinely and harmoniously give us what is truly needed. All these untruths, rubbish, and excrement leads to frustration, anger, and sadness.

This frustration is based on having to apologize for ourselves time and time again, and to right the wrongs they have manifested to fruition,  The need to get the assistance that "WE" truly needed to move forward in our lives is ignored piously.  This energy, becomes very exhausting, and would be far better spent trying to improve our lives, instead of wasting it in justifying the facts of… what we said and how we said it… or, to pass the butter please, rather then, the opposed to being able to get it ourselves.

The far better approach, would be to say to us… "How can I help you, rather than how can I force you to unnecessarily do something you neither want to do, or is beneficial to you?  It is not in their vision.  They cannot see what we truly are about or what our passions are.   These measures are effortless because they do not really want to help us be constructive or productive, human beings.  They rather cause undue embracement by excess rather then be truthful and honest.

How can we change this?  Are we willing to speak our mind?  Are we willing to fight for our lives?  Are we willing to educate and change the system we live in one issue at a time; by telling those experts how we truly feel.  Are we willing to go to any lengths to not let them get away with this anymore?  Are we willing to let our voices be heard.  I ask you.  Can we come together as disabled individuals backing and supporting each other unconditionally in our cause to an equal right to our civil rights- or are we meekly going to let life pass us by, by sitting in a corner, being afraid to speak our minds, and twiddling our thumbs!  I ask you?

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To All of You

I have not entered anything into my blog in a few days because my husband feel down, off a block fence, and broke his ankle.  Yes!  So I thought I would come on for a second and extend my gratitude to all of you, who have written a response to my writing and were so kind, warm and giving.

It feels very nice!  I wrap your love, your care, and your understanding heart around me like a beautiful warm quilt that keeps me protected and safe!  It also gives me more reason to keep on keeping on and to keep writing about the hope within myself never to give up on my passion:>))))))))))))))

To all of you, I say thank you:>)

I will write more when I am able.
I am lifted on high by your comments and support so keep them coming:>)

Tags: Caring for others
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