Thursday, December 31st, 2009 by klynn
After another year winds to a close, I have often been moved deeply. The years, months, days and hours past through my heart and mind like a stamp stuck on paper.
It takes me back to all those moments and times that people’s arrogance and assumptions held me back from what I was trying to do.
Because of my rebelish nature, I was not only able to survive but thrive. I was able to do a lot which people in power, thought was impossible. But it would be very naïve of me not to tell you of the extra effort I have had to spend because of what people in the twentieth century were taught to believe about my disability.
I can’t help but think about these moments going around and around in my head when I reflect about how much time has had to go by. Time that I could have been contributing to a caring world- Time that could have healed all wounds by a simple gesture of acceptance- Time that could have carved out recognition for not just me, but for our whole community.
Instead, I have had to run up over and over again against the electric chair of official stupidity. Of official neglect- And, of voluntarily lowing of self!
I have had to beg time and again, as I have had to explain the obvious to every expert imaginable shape and size.
What I knew was never enough. It had to be done on their terms.
I was labeled and mislabel mentally retarded all because of an IQ test, and people in power who only pretended to know what they were doing.
Fifty-eight years have gone by. Fifty-eight years of sheer hell on earth. Fifty-eight years which I have smiled, grinned, and bared it, and made bearable. For what?
But who will give me my youth back? Who will give me the degree I was so worthy of? And, who will give me the job or recognition I have busted my buns for? Whom, I ask? Whom?
Why do I have to be tide to a stake for someone to gloat over? Why do I have to suffer for someone else’s arrogance? Why did I have to waste my whole life away?
Tags: arrogance, assumptions
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Friday, June 19th, 2009 by klynn
I have heard a lot of commentary about kids bullying others, and then those same children who could not handle the making fun of any longer; killing themselves or hurting someone. Many people do not know how much that actually happens in the disabled community. But it does. Sometimes its even worse than out in the “regular world.” I know this because I lived through it, and experienced it a number of times first hand.
When I was a child the kids around me would chastise me for having an over-weight parent. Time and again, they would say mean and cruel words that stung deeply; of which all I could do was swallow what they just said, and turn the other cheek. Still another time, I was directly bullied by the classmate’s in my classroom. I was a quiet, demure, good-hearted child, who never thought twice about saying something or doing something down right nasty just for the sake or fun of it.
Yet, I had classmate’s that did just that! I experienced a practical awareness of people who came up to my personhood, stared me in the face, spouted nasty, sweet, nothings to me directly, grab my work assignments right from under my very nose, and ripped then to shreds. Still another time, as an adult mind you; while teaching a young client who had C.P., I was directly ostracize because she felt she had a right to mock my movements. Obviously, someone put this in her mind. Where did she get this from. Was it her wealthy background, her being the eldest child, or her controlling, manipulative ways. Was she made fun of by others, herself? Or, did she believe that making fun would get her somewhere?
What she did not realize was she was also making fun of herself. With a stern, caring, compassionate, human side, I professionally sat her down; and reminded her that she too had a disability, and while it was the same, yet different, she would not like it if someone made fun of her. People are not aware of how much there words can impact people around them. It would be very useful if we all took the time to think before we hurt someone’s feeling. If we perhaps, really took the time to be careful there would be a whole lot less suffering and tragedy.
Tags: Bullying, making fun of, intimidate, harass
Posted in Advocacy and Advice, Reflections | 5 Comments »
Monday, May 25th, 2009 by klynn
Every year, for the last four decades, I can’t help but think of all our fallen soldiers who paid the ultimate price and sacrifice. I can’t help but remember their precious lives and what they gave to our world. Having Cerebral Palsy, and knowing what it is like to live a life without the full use of all my limbs, I cannot stop thinking of all our young man; especially our injured boys who once had full use of their bodies. Now, they have to deal with something they never new before. Now, their lives have been altered for good- and now, they are left to pick up the pieces and to hopefully be positive and set an empowering example for other.
I remember the day my mother called me up at work. I remember her voice and how it sounded- I remember her telling me how we just got word that my cousin died in the Viet Nam war. Oh, how distinctly I remember that event. It never goes away! We were heart broken. We were shocked, traumatized, and devastated. This was a young, handsome man who ate, slept, and drank the idea of becoming a helicopter pilot.
We as his family could not stop him. We had to let go. We had to trust and believe that he would be safe. We had to believe that he would be guarded and protected from harm. We had to give him our love and good wishes to freely live his dreams to his highest. But oh, how special he was! How talented and kind a human being he was- Now an unsung hero who was only acknowledge by his loved ones and family.
And oh how it left my family. Know one truly know what it feels like unless you experience it yourself. The grief is unbearable. And the overwhelming sorrow, that’s a story all on its own. I am sure no one is ever the same after losing a loved one. No one truly ever recovers. Especially the parents!
We, the children, are supposed to outlive our mother’s and father’s. Not the other way around. We are supposed to bring joy and happiness to our family’s lives. Not hurt, and pain. So when it happens, it happens with a huge impact and an enormous bodily sensation such as mental suffering or distress. It causes a massive amount of torture, trauma, and torment.
Thus, I ask all you reading this to love those around you. Be respectful of other people’s wants, needs, and desires. Think less about yourself, and more about giving unconditionally. See what it does. See how it changes you- think less about what you need, and find unspoken ways to do something nice without anything in return. Bring someone happiness today. Show them that you truly care. Show your family or loved one the true meaning of giving from ones heart. Show them before it’s too late. Tell them what you’ve been keeping to yourself before it’s too late.
This Memorial Day let’s vow to make a difference. I dedicate this to you, Jerry.
Posted in Media and Commuications Convayer, Reflections | No Comments »
Thursday, January 1st, 2009 by klynn
Once again, Sean Dineen has written something for our readers. Enjoy!
"Well, my friends, another year will soon be over. All of you, have worked, achieved, struggled and triumphed. My heart is grateful for all of you, for the knowledge of what we as a community, endure and achieve is marked on your hearts. By God’s blessing I have been privileged to serve as a professor of history, and worked towards my doctorate to become full time and earn a living.
Despite great obstacles, and trial, that work goes on. My inner nature, will sustain my course. You, my friends have your own quest to go on. The average person, if there be such, doesn’t know. We have drunk the cup, poured out everything we are, to become. God sees all that we are my friends, in a way many in this world cannot.
Two other great blessings came my way this year. Our guide, and light, Ms. Karen Lynn, came and spoke at Kean University, shared her fifty seven years of working to break down the barriers put over our lives, by the self indulgent and inconsequential who sit in power, and shut their eyes to all we are. Watching her in front of a group my friends, is a joy without blemish. Her voice, sooths and compels in the same breath, professors who were never exposed, join us, aware of the unique role they can play in making achievement possible.
The years melted into history, and what I saw in the front of that room was the voice of our people, distilled and shared in a way, even I wasn’t fully ready for. She can see with a real vison, and a cleansing fire. So this group moved on, fully aware, and fully committed as we are, to inclusion and acceptance.
The other event, was my second visit to South Africa. This land of many peoples, and many trials, seems to almost physically, arch typically represent our struggle. The Afrikaner people, along with their English settlers, created a society, unlike any other, more committed ironically to disabled inclusion than any other land even in apartheid’s hay day. I spent two weeks exploring and learning in the company of Zulu politic ans, Shaagan tour guides, as well as people of Asian and mixed background.
This place, has become a second home to me. I cannot urge too much my friends, travel if you possibly can, its the greatest learning experience on earth. People of different beliefs and backgrounds coming together, is truly a blessing. Whatever, your disability, or financial circumstance, if it is possible, make the journey. It will also help in another way, to break down the myth, that we as a people, sit in drugged docility, unaware of the outside world. May God’s blessing wash over all of you."
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Sunday, December 28th, 2008 by klynn
For the last thirty days I have been in my warm and cozy house, celebrating the Holiday Season. I’ve been snuggled up tight as I come down with something quite big. But despite the cold, flu, and croupy cough, I managed to enjoy every last minute. I decked my hall, gave gifts of the heart, and spread good cheer. I even manage to write a number of article’s in-between my convalescing.
Their are still three more days till January first. Till then, and even after then, I am going to continue to do the one thing I do so well. I am going to continue to spread my joy where ever I go.
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Monday, December 22nd, 2008 by klynn
For the last couple of weeks, I have thought much of what I wanted to write for this holiday season. I thought of what I wanted to say and nothing really came to me till right now. Since I celebrate both holidays, and am Jewish, I began reflecting. I reflected on the here and now, and also the past. Additionally, I reflected on when I was a little girl, and how I use to love celebrating Chanukah. For some reason, lighting the candles brought me much peace.
Not only because there was something about the candles being lit that memorized me. But because of the prayers being said during the lighting, and my grandma teaching me in Hebrew what the prayers meant. It gave me a sense of my heritage and who I was. It made me have a sense of pride and dignity. It made me feel good about myself. It also made me wonder of all those many, thousands of years ago, and what all my people before me went through.
I thought about the story of the candles. I thought about how my people thought they would only have enough oil to last for one night. The miracle of the story was that the oil burned for eight days and eight nights. I guess you could say wow, huh! Its a beautiful story. It’s a story I will always cherish.
Although, I also remember as a little girl wanting to have a Christmas tree too. I remember during the holiday season, my elementary school would bring in the Booster Club, and the Shriners; as they would put on a huge Christmas gala for the children.
Although, my Mama Katie would sweetly remind me of my up-bringing, tradition, and customs. She and my grandma both would teach me about my legacy, my roots, and my background. They would speak in both Jewish and English to my sister and me. While we don’t speak it ourselves, my sister and I still understand the language and speak somewhat at time..
I guess you could say I have been blessed. Now I have the best of both worlds. 21 years ago, I married into a catholic family, of German decent. They not only speak their German dialect, but I understand a lot of what they are saying because of my mother and grandmother speaking it fluently in our house-hold. I also get to celebrate both holidays, now. I put up not only my dreidal an menorah, but I put up the most beautiful Christmas tree and decorations you could think of. I am not only reminded of the days long ago as the lyrics ring out in the Chanukah song. But I am reminded of who I am, how I want to share my gift of light, the light that shins forth from my being, and, I am reminded daily, that the gift of giving is not just one day out of the year. It is every day of the year. It is the hope and belief to carry on.
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 by klynn
This past weekend, I went to visit my great niece in the hospital. She had a ruptured appendix, and was told to go straight to Rady’s Children’s Hospital of San Diego. So Sunday, around 11:30 in the morning, my husband and I took a two hour drive up there. The traffic was surprisingly good. We did not hit any snags in the road, or get tangled up in any bumper to bumper 15 to 30 minute traffic jams or clogged arteries.
It was the second day that I really began to walk longer distance with my sprained ankle, bare full weight on my foot, and wear tennis shoes. My tendons were stretched to the gill, but It felt good getting out of the house, giving of my own self, and, giving love to someone else who really needed the comfort and care of someone else s concern.
It made me feel wonderful inside going out of my way! It made me also feel wonderful inside that I could give of myself so freely- And, it felt even better being able to give pure unconditional support to a loved one who’s parents could not be their on this particular day.
When I walked through the sliding glass doors, I was suddenly thrown back in time. I was in a time wrap, where I could recall specific events that took place. I was a little, 18 month old child, all over again, yet it was 2008. Being in the hospital made me feel warm and safe. It made me remember my physical therapist. It made me think of how the hospital has grown; as well as gave me glimpses of my past and things to be most grateful for.
Know matter how much I tried to stay in the present moment, when ever there were silent periods of time, I couldn’t stop recalling the time I spent in the Los Angeles Children’s hospital.
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