Monday, February 6th, 2012 by Karen Lynn
Conscious Mindfulness
In the mist of your daily routine, what are your thoughts? What are your intentions? How do you treat others and come across? Do you treat others with the same carefulness or attentiveness as you would a wounded bird whose wing is broken? Do you mindfully treat them with kindness? Or do you treat them like an alligator waiting to snap at the first gazelle that you see? Do you speak with a biting tongue? And growl at people because of your wounded dreams, thoughts, and ideas? Do you make other people plead for their existence because you are inflexible, unyielding, and uncompassionate?
Let’s mindfully think about our true nature for a minute. No one is judging, but us. We can either use it as a tool to make us more gentle and good-hearted, understanding and compassionate, or we can beat ourselves up and bring out all our worst characteristics. We can beat others up for our inability to like and accept ourselves, we can waste our own precious energy and time by being cruel, or, we can belittle, insult, minimize those because we can’t look and change ourselves.
Which do you choose today?
Tags: attitudes
Posted in Life Skills | 2 Comments »
Saturday, January 28th, 2012 by Karen Lynn
John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath” writes about a family in the great depression who loses everything and heads west to California. On their journey, they meet many people like themselves. It was hard times for everyone; just like it is for many today. The difference being, that those generations helped one other. They helped each other emotionally. They helped each other mentally, and they helped each other to have food in their stomachs. People who had a little extra would go out of their way to help.
The definition of caring in Webster’s Dictionary means: kind, showing care and concern, looking out for and being fond of.
What makes you want to give of yourself? What moves you to be concerned? What compels you to do something nice for another human being? What makes you look out for a person who sincerely needs help? What makes you dig deep down inside to sweeten another person’s life palette from hardship?
It’s so easy not to care now a day, conversely, it is also easy to impose an arbitrary idea on someone else. The essence is figuring out how to truly care from within, out, and to not only assist others in a way that an individual wants and needs, but to genuinely and sincerely mean it.
Tags: attitudes
Posted in Motivational and Moving | No Comments »
Friday, January 27th, 2012 by Karen Lynn
Humor and Warmth
To quote Maya Angelou:”we must have humor in our lives, and warmth and giving.” How do you see warmth and giving in your life? Is it visually pretty? Do vibrant colors come to your mind eye? Does a warm feeling take over your breath and body like the ebb and flow of a beautiful ocean wave? Do healing thoughts come to your being?
Miss Maya, as I affectingly call her to myself, is one of my most favorite poets and authors. I find myself in contemplation from her words; thinking and meditation, digesting and absorbing what these words actually mean. One by one I swallow and suck up the out-reach hand these words have to offer.
Do you reach out in the same way as I? Grabbing hold of the good these words have to give us. Do you spread light and joy from these words? Or, do you react in the opposite? Do you tense up? Do you get anxious when these words are spoken? Why, then, do these words turn into a hot flame of anger? Why do they upset you?
I have thought about the meaning of words and how they affect me and others. Why they take on the shape they do, and why words that are positive to one person can be so negative, daunting and upsetting to another. What is it for you? Have you found the warmth, humor, and giving within your life, today?
Tags: attitudes
Posted in Life Skills | No Comments »
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012 by Karen Lynn
What is Your Voice Saying
What does your voice sound like? Is it calm and inviting like Pavarotti the opera singer? Does it engage people? Does it work in your favor by having a positive energy force? Do you bring this positive nature forward to carry out the work you wish to do? Do you work well with others? Are you a team leader, have innovative ideas and do well under pressure? Is your attitude uplifting, cooperative, and willing to compromise?
Or does it irritate, offend, and insult like a hawk and its warlike aggressive behavior? Would you say you come across whining, blaming others, and always having to be right? Additionally, do you come across in a doom or gloomful kind of manner? Can you handle corrective citizen by just listening- Can you take what others have to say? Are you willing to take the necessary steps and action to grow from your lessons just learnt? What is your energy level like? Are you tired before you even get started in the morning? Did you stay up all night listening to your voice in your head? Did it keep going on and on complaining about what this person said and didn’t say?
Does your voice work for you? Is it a useful tool to help you get ahead? Or, does it extinguish your light and what you stand for? Do you fight to forge forward in your life’s’ endeavors? Or are you wasting your precious time and others’? Does it affect your productivity and the way you move forward in the universe? Is it an effective tool or one that hinders? Better yet, does it drain peoples’ energy?
If your voice does any of the above, you are not alone. You have a chance every day to work on yourself to become a better person. To gain the qualities you truly posses-
No one said it was going to be easy. But if you work on it a day at a time, and take the necessary steps one must to change, you will be so happy. You will feel so content within. You will have mastered the yin and yang of your true self.
Tags: attitudes
Posted in Life Skills | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011 by Karen Lynn
In all the 60 years I have been alive, we still do not know how to treat the disabled or challenged person with dignity and respect. I just had a birthday seven days ago, and it has really gotten my wheels spinning. In all these years, with all the advances in technology, human attitudes have not advances. We remain aloof, callous, cold, and even more judgmental of each other than ever before. Every other grouping of disabilities is far better understood than people with Cerebral Palsy.
We are trapped in a world of worthless, valueless, and second-rated ideas. You would think by now, with all the human Civil Rights cases and laws on the books, things would be different. But they are not- People in charge smile and use all the right words, in all the right company, although, for many, they retain dangerous ideas and concepts about what must be done to “help” us . This idea that “we should” want meaningful employment, a person we could call our soul mate, a place that we could call our home, and the opportunity to recreate is for many of them terrifying.
To be amongst people, working, playing and living healthy, happy, meaningful lives does not exist! People are down right threaten of those like myself who are self-directed. They can’t stand me because I threaten their world and their ability to perform and exercise power in any way, shape or form. They are taken-a-back by my determination. So they begin to resent, bully, judge, and retaliate against us. Why, tell me why does this have to be? We are not doing or bringing harm to other people- All we want to do is live our lives joyously and peacefully in the way we choose.
Their is absolutely no reason at all on earth, to take matters into ones hand to ruin our lives. What reason do people have to stifle our needs, our wants, our desires, and our aspirations’. The only reason I can come up with after a life time of this kind of bullying and trauma is to uphold the image of our community as cute and helpless. They can’t stand us having our own power. They can’t stand seeing us succeed and be successful. And, they can’t stand that we are accomplishing and trying to accomplish anything without their help and guidance.
Just like all of you, I intend to continue to not only accomplish the accomplishable, but I intend to continue to make this a kinder and gentle world by bringing this to the forefront.
Tags: attitudes
Posted in Reflections | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 by Karen Lynn
How many times in your life have you not been given credit for something you outstandingly accomplished? How many times were your efforts gone unnoticed? And, how many times did some body else take the credit for your hard work? This happens a lot to people with disabilities. Too often our work is seen as something to keep us busy and occupied, rather than something of meaning and purpose. Because people outside the disabled circle seem to believe that our lives don’t need the same kind of depth, acknowledgement, praise, or honor to express warm approval or admiration for the work we have done. We are given little recognition which is so deserved. Time and time again, our efforts, our ethics, and our labor get either brushed over or disregarded. Persons in high raking positions, who have no disabilities of there own, have a special way of usurping every opportunity that comes our way.
They seem to have a unique and inimitable way of allowing us to do the work for which they take full credit for. There are many deceitful examples. One time, in transition, while waiting for the verdict of my Civil Rights Case, I was working as an assistant recreation director. I went above and beyond, and took on responsibilities that normally would fall to my boss. But me being me, I took them on. Unfortunately, my efforts were not valued or taken seriously.
Once again, I was treated as though I was mentally retarded; and should go back to the workshops. It was thought and non-verbally expressed that I should do his work, while he received all the accolades. This idea was demonstrated in the general approach which was taken towards the management of our responsibilities within this care facility. I naturally grasped and took upon myself the many details in organizing care plans, putting on events, and teaching fitness classes; along with giving each client the respect, the dignity, the decorum, and care they unconditionally needed and deserved.
Most the time, my boss would show his face in the early part of the morning, disappear for eight hours, and reappear at the days end. Meanwhile, I had been progressing, and achieving and doing all his work. I put in long, grueling hours out of the goodness of my heart. I learned the ropes of the trade due to his negligence and unconcern. He was cold and hardened and looked out just for himself. He did not think of others around him and what his affects would be on them.
This man had the nerve to claim, “all I did was visit patience and make them happy…” His inaccurate, condescending and disdainful statements made me look as if I was incompetent of doing my job. He made me look as though I was incapable of holding my position or carrying out the duties at hand. He also damaged my reputation and caused me much strife.
Why is it that these people have to cause others such horrific and horrendous, pain? Why does our society promote one- manship of cruelty, instead of goodness? Why are there clicks where mean and cure things are said about others, and nasty act performed? And why are people so jealous of those who give there all? Are they threatened Of us? Tell me, please! Why does mankind turn on there own? Is it ego, or greed? Is it power because they have something missing within themselves? Is it revenge because of something that happened in childhood? Are they just outright mean and cruel and have to hurt those who try their hardest and give there all!
What happened to being happy for someone else, and working together for the common good of all? What happened to doing unto others as you would like done unto you? These irrefutable acts hurt the people who want to be included in society the most. While these people know how to sniff us out, and put us where they think we belong. They get off scott free for a while, but it always comes back.
It is the primary task of all of us who have a disability to demonstrate our own achievements in every aspect of our life. We need to show and teach the world by action and deed just how much we have to offer the world, and will accomplish. We need society to treat us seriously. We need society to get honest and stay honest. And, we need society to own up to the many narratives they have done to hold and keep us back. We need our country, and our members of government officially responsible to begin to recognize our untapped leaders in our own communities. It is far better for society if its leaders come from a people which have born “the heat of battle in the noon day sun.” Because you see, as a community, we have been tested and hardened by the struggle to survive. We have also understood the need to work interdependently for mutual benefits. These are the skills which our country requires of it leaders. So why not us, too! Why not then give us a voice and a say so in the leadership of the republic. Why keep us hidden in the shadows?
Tags: attitudes
Posted in Living With a Physical Disability | 3 Comments »
Friday, December 5th, 2008 by Karen Lynn
Sometimes I wonder! I really wonder if our world and society truly understands us, or, if they whole-heartedly care! I seriously wonder and ask myself over, and over again, if they ever will? I ask you, what do you think? How do you feel? Have you ever experienced anything such as I have? would you be kind enough to write and share your thoughts with me for your support?
I will tell you honestly, that I have spent many a sleepless night; rocking myself to sleep with worry. I have cradled myself, saturated in tears, with a feeling of disgust , hurt, emotional pain, devastation, and deep despair of “how am I going to conquer the un-conquerable;” while staying positive, focused, and still reaching my goals of becoming productive in a world that doesn’t want to see me productive at all.
It is real hard! And, it is very unacceptable to me. It’s an inconclusive matter, that goes on and on. And never goes away! it is insupportable, intolerant, and very tedious and hard to endure. What’s more, is that no one truly see’s or feels it. These unhappy feelings come from a life-time of dealing with people who hold degree’s, and are professional experts which hold powerful, unyielding, torches that are resolute in inflexibility, uncompromising help, and unshakeable policies and procedures which cause their clients undo social, emotional, and economic grievances and hardships. These “experts” don’t realize the injury to health they cause us in body, mind, and spirit. It is an insult to our dignity, and a gross negligence on their part to the people who need a sincere hand up in order to make it in this life. It is awful, and sickens me! It is a dreadful limitation which they and society puts on us unfairly!
What if they invested their time in us? The truth is, that they and our society for the last thirty years or so, are so money hungry, and oriented, that they can’t nor will they invest their time in us; weather we are inflected with a physical disability or injury or not! They would rather make us a vegetable of the state, declaring us victims of society. And when we fight for our lives, they fight even harder with convenient cover-ups only to lock away the key and throw it away forever more!
It is as if we are only allowed to progress at a rate our experts are comfortable with. The idea that we could surpass there conclusions or evaluations is a huge jeopardy, unwelcome truth, and danger to them! These experts refuse to acknowledge that “We wish to lead normal lives.” This is very frightening, treating, and harassing. We are intimidation to them as we and our healthy desires, despite our physical limitations, hound and plaque their physics. Yet we don’t have the kind of money others have, to help ourselves.
The thought of us taking action for ourselves, or surpassing their expectations of us, causes them great humiliation; which in return cause’s then to take drastic measures upon us. It also causes bodily retribution to us; the people who struggle to make it in this world the most. Because we have no other course, or financial funds to make our dreams happen on our own, we work, deal, and bend over backwards to be agreeable with then, with every breath in our being.
Although, since It goes against everything they have been taught to believe about us; with a sly, underhanded, and sneaky vengeance, they purposely cause strife and hardship upon us. It is ridiculous that I have had to spend a life-time (57 years) pleading for the right to exist in a world that really knows no kindness or equality!
The idea of achievement is used to channel our energy into pleasing those who think they know what we should be doing with our lives! We have to waste our precious time, time, and time, and time again, convincing them we are allowed to live our lives out as we see fit!
I know I have talked about this may times before; however this issue never gets resolved. It just gets worse. I have known other people in the disabled community, who face similar struggles. Yet social workers and explorers insist and demand, without contradiction, getting and emphatically being involved in every aspect of our lives, even if we say no or don’t want their help. They don’t listen. They don’t truly care, and they just keep on!
Yet, they won’t give us the right to choose, or have the chance to succeed. They won’t give us the dignity, the state or quality of being worthy, or the honor of respect; to choose our desired interest to cave out a perfect place for our own selves, same as they have been given the gift to do. Its all a double standard, and a hypocrisy. It is a convenient way to condemn and invoke as an accusation where the conflicts are manifested as truths in there behalf, and where our humanly rights have little justification of strength, or testimony of attribute to our human behavior in society.
They think they know everything we should and shouldn’t do. They put us in a place where we have to beg and plead, and then we are put on a merry-go-round hoping against hope for endless periods of time. I am getting real sick and tired of giving my all to get ahead in life, only to give these people the right to hold this kind of power and judgement over my life. Are you? This paternalism is the worst evil in the history of our lives. Somehow we must all help to change this. We have to put and end to it as I tried over thirty years ago. Lets speak out, not be shy, and lets speak out in unison, as one! Help me please, won’t you?
Tags: attitudes
Posted in Accessability and Inclusion | 1 Comment »
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